An Electoral Edition
Per pandits, these elections will be very close. It will all depend on the undecided voters, they say. I'm sick and tired listening to the countless interviews on TV and radio with undecided voters. With such a drastic difference between the candidates' platforms and just a few days away from the elections, I can't believe someone still can't decide which way to go. I'm sorry, but you got to be either absolutely stupid (and for that reason only should be banned from the elections), or you really don't give a shit, and in this case, should stay home and don't mess with other people's future.
That's how David Sedaris put it in New Yorker:
"... I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?" To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked..."